Healing From Childhood Trauma After
Bullying at School
"Bullying
at school left scars on me and on millions of other people around the world. Not
everyone survived childhood bullying. I was one of the lucky ones. In time, I
learned to face the childhood trauma and move past it, and so can you. The free
fall that began when you were tormented by bullies can end." So says
Stacey J. Miller, author of Getting Past
Childhood Bullying: How Adults Can Recover From Bullying That Began at School (BPT
Press, October 2018).
The
memories of bullies at school are no longer yours to handle alone, according to
Stacey. In her book, she shares the four-part program she successful used to
heal from the bullying in her childhood. They are:
Part 1. Tell your story. Take ownership of
it, and tell it first to yourself. Then decide whether or not you want to share
the story with others. If you can articulate what happened, you can begin to
reframe the events and learn from them.
Part 2. Maximize you online presence. The
internet has made the world a much smaller place. Chances are, anyone from your
past can find you again within just a few minutes without even exerting much
effort. That can be a terrifying prospect unless you take charge of what people
will see when they find you online and prepare yourself for the eventuality of
their getting in touch.
Part 3. Find your foes online. You do not
have to wait for people to find you online. Instead, you can find them first.
That allows you to put the people associated with the bullying of your
childhood into perspective. You will see that they are not omniscient. They
can't hurt you anymore because, after all, they are just ordinary mortals.
Part 4. Face your foes in the real world. The
childhood bullying you experienced might have ended without providing you with
an opportunity for closure. You may feel that
you still have unfinished business with the people who hurt you. While you
cannot change the past, you can shoot an alternate ending by meeting the people
from your past once more — on your terms — when you are ready. Finally, you can
end the story on your terms.
"The
first step in healing," Stacey shares, "is to recognize that bullying
is no longer a dirty little secret. It never should have been. Fortunately, society
now has recognized bullying as unacceptable and deeply detrimental. We have
stopped normalizing it. Now that bullying has finally come out of the closet
and into the light, you can, too. You weren't to blame for what happened. You
endured, and you're probably a more compassionate person because of it. Give
yourself credit for being the hero that you are."
Getting Past Childhood Bullying:
How Adults Can Recover From Bullying
That Began at School
By Stacey
J. Miller
BPT Press
October
2018
ISBN-13: 978-0984228539
